The Masculine Dichotomy
A trans man's double bind.
“If we don’t do something about it, who is going to do something about it?” — Jessica Ruiz, mother of Noah.
Almost one year ago today, Noah Ruiz was attacked at the Preble County campground after using the women’s restroom as a trans man. Ruiz, 20 at the time, was physically assaulted by three men as they called him homophobic slurs. When officers arrived at the scene, Ruiz was arrested for disorderly conduct (due to yelling and panicked behavior, says source Fox 19) [1].
Noah could not have chosen ‘correctly’: Noah used the bathroom he was told to use by the owner of the campground, Rick Cross [1]. Ohio, the state where Noah was attacked, has repeatedly reinforced that trans Ohioans must legally use the restroom that correlates with their birth certificate [2].
In her paper Oppression, Marilyn Frye implores you to imagine seeing a bird sitting with one wire in front of it. You inspect every detail of the wire, but you can’t piece together why the bird won’t fly away. However, when you take a step back, you notice there are many more wires, and the wires are incredibly close together. Soon, you realize that the bird could not possibly fly away—it is trapped in a cage.
These wires represent the double binds that oppressed people experience. A double bind is a situation in which, no matter the option you choose, you will be harmed. Oppressed people’s lives are composed of these wire moments—moments where choosing the ‘better option’ does not save you—that intersect with one another to create the oppressive cage [3].
So, what are these wires that coalesce to trap trans men in the oppressive cage?
The sexed man
As children, boys are not considered sexual creatures. Little boys are allowed in changing rooms with their mothers, they are permitted to use the women’s restroom, they bathe with their sisters, etc.
However, when a boy hits puberty, he becomes something entirely different. He is no longer invited to his female friends’ sleepovers, he no longer changes around his sister. He has become sexed—or sexualized.
Thus creates what I dub the masculine dichotomy. Men face the masculine dichotomy when they are forced into one of two metaphysical boxes: the de-sexed boy or the sexually violent man. The de-sexed boy is innocent. The sexually violent man is ravenous; he is a beast that only seeks one thing (take a guess).
These dichotomous categories are viewed by others as biological fact, reinforced by the biological process of puberty, the old science of ‘roid rage,’ and strange grand narratives about snakes and sins.
Viewing manhood like this hurts men—young, old, and, as the title suggests, trans. Boys, because they have sexuality pushed on them from a young age and they do not have the proper faculties to understand this toxic framing of masculinity.
The older man is impacted, as the more masculine his body becomes, the more of a threat he presents. Imagine the most ‘threatening’ man you can. Is he a large, buff, tattooed, bald, testosterone-filled biker type? You wouldn’t be alone.
The ways that we categorize men—as villainous, hypersexual, callous—is wrong. Males are not born to become violent, sexual beings when they turn eleven years old. Men are not the enemy; patriarchy is the enemy. And trans men are hurt by patriarchy. Our oppression is often forgotten about or lumped in with the oppression of women, but it is real.
The confused little girl
It’s not all sunshine and rainbows to be viewed as a de-sexed male either. Toxic masculinity and misogyny are weaponized against those deemed “not real men”—whether because they are homosexual, weak, or otherwise gender non-conforming. And who is perceived to have less of a claim to the label of “real man” than trans men? Who is more de-sexed than a man without a penis?
Trans men, especially non-masculine trans men, are regarded by transphobes as confused little girls. Look no further than J.K. Rowling for evidence supporting this claim.
And it goes without saying that this perspective is damaging to all the trans guys just trying to live their lives.
Trans men are unique individuals and should be treated as such. Their perspectives are important to the overall liberatory conversation. They are not adversaries to women, nor are they women themselves.
Must we treat trans men, like their cis brothers, as potentially violent oppressors in order to validate their gender identity? I resoundingly argue no.
What do we do?
So, trans men are locked in a double bind; be perceived as violent or be perceived as non-men. Given the choice, I believe a lot of my trans brothers would choose the option that doesn’t lead to them being misgendered, but this does not mean that we actually embody the traits of toxic masculinity.
The question is not whether the oppressive cage of the masculine dichotomy should be expanded or shrunken, but rather, why we allow the cage to exist at all. Why do we burden individuals with the yoke of an insidiously binary characterization that leaves no room for the richness and diversity of human experience?
Trans men, like Noah Ruiz, should not have to navigate this perilous landscape of double binds, choosing between harmful stereotypes to be recognized for who they authentically are. No one should have to choose between public harm and the denial of one's identity. A genuinely progressive society must rise above the age-old, reductive narratives of ‘de-sexed boys’ or ‘sexually violent men.’
We must realize that the idea of a threat does not reside in how masculine a man appears, but in the binary lens through which we insist on viewing him. Only then, will trans men, and indeed all men, cease to be viewed as either potential threats or gender impostors, and begin to be recognized simply as human beings, in all their beautiful complexity.
Trans men are men, and men are good.
— C.
Notes:
[1] Fox 19 WXIX (07/22): https://www.fox19.com/2022/07/08/transgender-butler-county-man-says-group-beat-him-up-using-wrong-restroom/
[2] Ohio Capital Journal (05/23): https://ohiocapitaljournal.com/2023/05/31/ohio-ag-on-bathroom-policies-law-does-not-protect-subjective-preferences-of-trans-people/
[3] Frye, Marilyn (2000). Oppression. Open access .pdf found here: https://www.filosoficas.unam.mx/docs/327/files/Marilyn%20Frye,%20Oppression.pdf
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